***A Scene in 2020*** Operator: Hello Mr Bigg's!

***A Scene in 2020***
Operator: Hello Mr Bigg's!
Customer: Hello, can you please take
my order?
Operator: Can I have your multipurpose
Credit card number first, Sir?
Customer: Yeah! Hold on..... My number
is
889861356102049998-45-54610
Operator: OK... You're... Mr Akpos and
you're calling from 17, Deco Street, Warri.. Your home number is
08000900066, your
office 07011115532 and your mobile is
0811170066.
You are calling from you home number
now. Customer: (Astonished) How did you
get all my phone numbers?
Operator: We are connected to the
system, Sir.
Customer: I wish to order your Seafood
Pizza... Operator: That's not a good idea Sir.
Customer: How come?
Operator: According to your medical
records, you have high blood
pressure and even higher cholesterol
level, sir. Customer: What?... What do you
recommend then?
Operator: Try our Low Fat Hokkien
Pizza. You'll like it.
Customer: How do you know for sure?
Operator: You borrowed a book titled 'Popular Hokkien Dishes'
from the National Library last week,
sir.
Customer: OK I give up... Give me three
family size ones then.
Operator: That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The
total is #2,450.
Customer: Can I pay by credit card?
Operator: I'm afraid you have to pay us
cash, Sir. Your credit card is
over the limit and you owe your bank # 1,51,758 since
October last year. That's not including
the late payment
charges on your housing loan, Sir.
Customer: I guess I have to run to the
neighborhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy
arrives.
Operator: You can't Sir. Based on the
records, you've exhausted
even your overdraft limit.
Customer: Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready.
How long is it gonna take anyway?
Operator: About 45 minutes Sir, but if
you can't wait you can
always come and collect it on your
tricycle (Keke Napepe). Customer: What?
Operator: According to the details in
the system , you own a tricycle
registration number 1123.
Customer: "????" (hmmm.. these guys
know my tricyle number too!)
Operator: Is there anything else, sir?
Customer: Nothing.! .. by the way...
aren't you giving me that 3
free bottles of coca-cola as advertised?
Operator: We normally would sir, but based on your records, you're
also diabetic... In the best interest of
your health, we are
holding this offer for you.
Customer: (now pissed) You guys are
mad!! stupid sons of bitches!!!
Operator: Better mind your language
sir. Remember on 15th July
2007 you were imprisoned for 2
months and fined
#5,000 for using abusive language against a
policeman...?
Customer faints...